I was 24, and just embarking on a new job at the airport. I figured I’d try out the airline industry because I loved to travel and what better way to do so then work in the midst of it. It was a tough job-the toughest I’d ever done before. I went home absolutely exhausted mentally and emotionally most days. It’s slightly terrifying working outside on these huge pieces of machinery that cost millions and hold the lives of strangers, family, friends and people you love. I was working the night shift (still a trainee) when I started to feel sick. I remember almost vomiting and realized I hadn’t had my period in awhile so I went to Meijer after work at 2am, bought a pregnancy test and headed home. I remember taking the test, seeing the positive immediately, and waking my husband up telling him we have a situation. After the initial shock, we were elated that we were going to become parents! We weren’t planning on getting pregnant so soon, but regardless we knew God had a plan for us even if we weren’t ready for it.
Work was tough the next few weeks. I had to tell my co-workers and bosses because my job was so physical I needed to prepare and train to work inside instead of outside. You’d think that my company would have to be pretty accommodating, but I had to come in on my time off to train, and they pretty much told me that until I had a doctor’s note I had to work outside. About 7 weeks into the news, I noticed I was spotting while at work. I went to the bathroom and realized something was really wrong and I went into hysterics as I called Alex to come pick me up. What followed was hours of being poked and prodded to which all the doctors could tell me was that I was most likely having a miscarriage, but they weren’t able to give me a definitive answer.
For the next year it was really hard for me to talk about what happened without ending up crying. What I came to realize though, was that this happens to a lot of women, they just never talk about it. I want to break that taboo because guess what? We’re humans who go through things that make it a little easier when you know you’re not alone. I like to think everything that happens is for a reason and that God’s plan is always bigger and better than what you could have possible imagined. We know that when the time is right we will become parents, but until that time we have to trust Him. Whenever I get anxious, I like to re-read my favorite Bible Verse Psalm 23. It’s a great reminder that even through your darkest times, keep your faith and it will all work out. Having a great support system is essential to helping you cope. I’m so thankful to have such an amazing husband that always makes me feel safe, and a great base of family and friends that I know I can always count on.
Find your happiness. I think if we stopped comparing our lives to others and bashing women, but rather rejoice in everyone’s blessings and empower each other the world would be a way better (and happier) place.
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Photo courtesy of Katelyn Brown